Are you suffering from premature evaluation?

It’s a common problem; believing you know what’s true before you’ve investigated or clarified it.

Symptoms – thinking you know what’s best for people, feeling sure you’re right and people have to agree with you, believing you can’t have what you want, offering unrequested advice?

The symptoms can be relieved in three easy stages:

Stage 1 – Self-modelling – paying exquisite attention to your own beliefs, values, behaviours and patterns

We each live in our own unique model of the world built up from our culture, upbringing, education, experiences, beliefs etc. From this we build up internal representations of ourselves, others and the world.

These representations can be sensory based, could be in words or concepts, or might be in metaphor or symbols. We respond to our representations/models of the world, not to reality. We aren’t always aware of the representations that run our responses. As we become aware of them and understand how they work, we can use them more effectively. If we’re not happy, it could be to do with some of our representations, we don’t have to keep them, we can update them and learn new ones.

Stage 2 – Modelling others’ beliefs, values, behaviours and patterns

Other people will have very different presentations of the world to us. Without bothering to understand their values and how their behaviours make sense to them, we usually judge people’s behaviour through our own representations and are almost always wrong.

Other people aren’t always aware of the representations that run them. Asking clean questions and Systemic Modelling allows us, and them, to gather fresh information about their representations of the world.

Stage 3 – Building rapport with ourselves and others

Deliberately adjusting your patterns (representations, beliefs, behaviours), in order to communicate more clearly.

This is the essence of Systemic Modelling and is encapsulated in the Flower Model below. If you consider that we often confuse our own patterns with other’s and what’s presented from what we are inferring; clean questions and the following exercises, reduce contempt, reduce blame, increase curiosity and increase respect for ourselves and for others.

Premature evaluation could be a disease of your past.

A PDF booklet explaining each of the exercises is included so you can begin practising with friends and colleagues.